


never gonna leaf you down

by Omeganixtra



Series: Destiny Fictober 2019 [6]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Fictober 2019, Gen, Guardian shenanigans, the guardians take care of their hunter vanguard, trees makes cayde a happy boi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-12-13 16:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21000761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omeganixtra/pseuds/Omeganixtra
Summary: Cayde misses the Wilds so obviously the solution is rather simple. Just bring the Wilds to him instead, right?





	never gonna leaf you down

**Author's Note:**

> day 6: "Yes, I'm aware. Your point?"

It is no secret in the Tower that the Hunter Vanguard has a tendency to… voice his complaints about the lack of activity outside of the City’s borders that he gets. In truth, the betting pool for when the Commander will finally snap and simply just hurl his colleague over the railing in a fit of rage has yet to stop receiving funds, and all members of said pool have all been sworn to secrecy about it existing in the first place.

But still. The Hunter Vanguard complains. Something obviously needs to be done about this _somehow_.

And thus, the Guardians call for an unofficial meeting.

“We could sneak him out in his sleep,” one of the Hunters start out.

A Titan snorts. “Have you ever seen the guy sleep? He’s practically awake for twenty out of the twenty-four hours of the day.”

The Hunter scowls, “Well, I don’t hear you coming up with any grandiose ideas here.”

“Could Cayde even _be_ smuggled out, though?” one of the other Guardians, another Hunter, asks out loud. “Didn’t they install new metal detectors by all designated exits last week?”

“We could always just jump out with him from the balcony. Hunters are agile, and they have that annoying extra jump, don’t they?”

“Yeah, what _is_ up with that, anyway?”

The conversation derails from there to great amusement for some and the utter agony of others, because _of course it does_. They’re Guardians—undead, immortal idiots who fly across known space to hunt bigger challenges and even bigger hoards of loot just because they can. Also dancing, because nothing is funnier than pulling off mooning a Cabal as you precariously manage to both balance and dance on your active sparrow.

But then, finally, someone brings up an idea that no one has thought of before.

“Well, if we can’t bring Cayde to the Wilds, then could we bring the Wilds to Cayde?”

Of course it’s a Warlock who suggests it, but it’s the best damn idea that anyone else has gotten so far, and no one can really find anything immediately wrong with it. The decision to empty out the betting pool is reached after a fair bit of workshopping that involves copious amounts of caffeine, alcohol and snacks, because liberating your funny Vanguard for the good of the people is busy, very hungry work.

And thus, Operation Save A Cayde, Plant A Tree is born.

It starts out quite innocently at first.

The Hall of Guardians, all cold metal and harsh plasteel reinforcements, suddenly sees a small but somewhat noticeable growth of greenery here and there, if one knows where to look. A small potted plant sitting innocently on the Crucible Quartermaster’s desk begins the whole thing, but no one really seems to take notice. From there on the small plants slowly grow in number. Shaxx is soon surrounded by a small army of anthuriums in bright, bold red, and no one really questions how he manages to take care of all of them, especially since there is next to no sunlight that reaches his little nook of the Tower, but he somehow manages to do it.

From there on it just… spreads.

Succulents sprout up everywhere across the technicians’ workstations, the frames are more often than not called in to remove petals and leaves that have been shaken loose from the plants they belong to, and within a few weeks it is no longer confined to only happening in the Hall of Guardians.

Any and all attempts at setting up plants near Eris Morn’s station, however, is met with a cold stare and a curt “Begone.” whenever a Guardian is brave enough to go near her with their plant of choice in hand.

None of their superiors seem to notice, at least not outright, but the Guardians who are in on it all collectively high-fives one day when they see the Hunter Vanguard much happier than they have seen him in a fairly long time. Their plan is working, and if some of the Guardians Tower-bound are called in to help clear out the worst of the foliage it is all totally worth it.

And that is where it begins to maybe, _possibly_, get ever so slightly out of hand.

It all escalates when a group of especially dedicated Hunters, not ones to be shown up by the pitiful likes of brawny Titans or book-smart Warlocks, somehow manages to transmat a small forest into the courtyard of the Tower.

The Commander’s reaction practically goes down in Guardian history as the longest tirade the Tower has ever seen come out of Commander Zavala’s mouth, possibly up there to rival the lengths that arguments between Lord Shaxx and Lord Saladin tends to drag out into. It is utterly hilarious to observe for everyone other than Zavala who spends the day shifting between blue, purple and a very unbecoming shade of magenta every time that he either trips over a root or whenever marshwater somehow gets inside his boots.

After that little stunt nothing is sacred.

A carnivorous plant originally from Venus somehow manages to find it’s way into the Hunter barracks, resulting in some truly hilarious attempts at getting the damn thing _out _again, as _someone_ apparently has installed anti-transmat units throughout the entire complex, and the cleanup in horrible. In retaliation someone manages to decorate both the Warlocks’ and Titans’ barracks in flowers eerily similar to those found by that one Fireteam that entered the Black Garden, causing a complete shutdown of the Tower as people run around screaming about the endtimes and how the Vex are coming to slaughter them all.

It is also after this that those responsible are pulled aside by Cayde for a “stern talking to”.

“You do all realize that all you could have done was just to, y’know, make a small garden or something. You didn’t need to transmat a whole damn forest into the premises. Or antagonize the Titans or Warlocks, now that I think about it.” Cayde has a brow-plate raised as he eyes the Guardians gathered in the small meeting room that he has managed to wrangle free from meetings.

“They started it.”

“I’m not saying that they didn’t have it coming, ‘specially after that fucking plant, but c’mon, guys. Are you even aware of how ridiculously childish that all of this is?”

“Yes, I’m aware,” one of the Hunters says straight-faced. “Your point?”

Cayde’s mouth open and closes as he tries to come out with a proper answer. He did _not_ expect that one.

“Well? Does this mean that you like it, then?”

There’s got to be at least fifty eager faces looking directly at him right now, each one of them trying to look more excited than the rest, and if that ain’t enough to almost bring a tear to the eye, then Cayde’s sure that that someone is as coldhearted a bastard as they come.

And, y’know, he can’t _not_ say that he likes it. His itty-bitty Hunters did all of this for him, even if they had some help from the other facti—holy shit, _his Hunters brought him a fucking forest and Zavala is going to slaughter him when he finds out._

“Zavala is going to kill me,” he says faintly and frowns when various snickers erupt around him.

“We have _evidence_!” one of his Nightstalkers cackles and waves a small harddrive in his hand. “Did you really think we’d start an all-out war with the Titans and Warlocks without at least having blackmail on’em?”

This time Cayde is the one who cackles. “Attaboys!”

The next day there’s a scavenger hunt organized by the Hunter faction that stretches throughout the forest-covered Tower.


End file.
